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True friends
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Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey.....PoOoOoH!!! |
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SONA
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You r my sweet SONA
I don't want u 2 KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA |
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Gr8
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TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...! |
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Ho tum
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Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum... |
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Someday
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Someday u may lose ur hair.
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.
coz u cant lose wot u don't have! |
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Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye
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Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!! |
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When u feel sad....
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When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"dam'n I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!! |
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CARTOON NETWORK
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Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte
hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh... |
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Shaam
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Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai.. |
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Spare parts
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When the time comes for you to give
your heart to someone make
sure that u select someone who will never break your heart coz
broken hearts have no spare parts. |
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Teri yaad
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Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki unko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi... |
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A good Friend
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A good Friend is like a computer
he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself
in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles
and never DELETE you from his heart. |
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Tum hoti to aisa hota
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Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to
waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!! |
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0 say to 8
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Whats the 0 say to the 8 ?
Nice belt! |
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A B C D
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A 4 APPLE
B 4 BADA APPLE
C 4 CHHOTA APPLE
D 4 DUSRA APPLE
E 4 EK AUR APPLE
F 4 FOKAT KA APPLE
G 4 GOL APPLE
H 4 HO GAYA NA PET KHARAB KHAKE ITNE SARE APPLE? |
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A For ...
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Teacher : A for ?
Sardar : Apple
Teacher : zor se bolo...!
Sardar : JAY MATA DI...!!! |
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Aati thi
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aati thi.... jaati thi...
hansti thi.... hansati thi...
bhagti thi.... bhagati thi...
bolti thi.... bulwati thi...
aaj pata chala saali ullu banati thi.... |
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A Girl Life
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Jab Tere Chiku The,
Sab Tere Pichu The.
Jab Tere Amm Huye Kayi Badman Hue,
Jab Tere Kharbuje Hue Bade Ajube Hue,
JAb Tere Jhul Gaye,
Sab Tujhe Bhul Gaye.... |
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Afghan Boy
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when do u say an afghan boy matured?
when he takes out his diper and ties it on his head. |
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Ak 47
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Sardar joins army, given AK 47.
Hes puzzld.
Asks major, Sir, yeh bandook ki nalli samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga |
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Anaesthetist
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A callgirl had sex with a doctor.
After climax,
She asks : ''R u an ANAESTHETIST?''
Doctor : ''Ya!,How did u know?''
Callgirl : ''Kab dala kab nikala, pata hi nahi chala.'' |
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ANGRAI
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Jab angrai Leti ho to mera Dum Nikal
jata hai
Jab angrai Leti ho to mera Dum Nikal jata hai
are! Kambakhat Deodrant Lagane mein tera kya jata hai . |
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Arz hai.....
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Dhire se thoko sanam mehangi ka
zamana hai.........
6 inch ke item kozindagi bher chalana hai......... |
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Ass
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An ASS,
behind another ASS,
behind that I,
and behind me the whole NATION....
A Sardar teaching his children the spelling of ASSASSINATION!!! |
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Automatically
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Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?
Praful: jab auto me baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaye to usko kehte hain,
AUTO-MEIN-TAKLI ! |
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Aurat ki kamar
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Ya khuda tune Aurat ke kamar itni
pattli kyoun banai hey yeh tere berukhi hey ya tere bewafai hey
Khuda: na mere berukhi hey, na meri bewafai hey uski kamar say kuch mitti
lekar uske seene pe lagai hey. |
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Beautiful Girl
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A sardar saw a beautiful girl.he went
and kissed her.
GIRL: "stupid,what are you doin...?"
Sardar: " B.Com Final Year.... |
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Bachche
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Soowar ke bachhe !
Ullo ke patthe!
kutte ke pille !
Gadhe ki aulaad !
Bhains ke bachhde,
Bakri ke memne,
sab kitne chote-chote,
piare-piare hote haina. |
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Bhaiya
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ANOTHER DEFINITION OF BHAIYA
B- BADA
H- HANDSOM
A- AUR
I- INTELLIGENT
Y- YAAR
A- APNA |
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BoyFriends
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Boyfriends are like panipuri,
Tastes good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS,
Hot & spicy,eaten frquently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE,
eaten when there is no choice.... |
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CARTOON NTWK
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Aap kya jano hum kitna aap ko yad
karte hai
Mano ya na mano, har pal faryad karte hai,
Roz khat likhte hai CARTOON NTWK ko,
Aur bas aaphiko dekhane ki mang kiya karte hai.. |
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Chandramukhi
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Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi,
tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi.
Chatt se chhalang laga de, phir tu bhi sukhi,
main bhi sukhi. |
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Cigarette
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Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achhi
hai,
Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achhi hai,
Dil jalati hai, par hothon se to lagati hai |
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Crowded Bus
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Man - Madam aapke santare dab rahe
hai jara peche raho.
Madam - Mere santare dab rahe apko kya.
Man - Apko kuch nahin par mera to ras nikal raha hai!!!! |
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College ki chardiwari
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college ki chardiwari mein ajjeb se
khel hote hain,
khel hi khel me dilon ke mail hote hai.
ise liye to tere jaise aashiq har sal fail hote hai. |
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Dead bird
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Banta and Santa were walking outside
When the Santa said "Oh, look at the dead bird".
Banta looked skyward and said "Where, where?". |
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De Denge
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aaj tum DIL mango de denge,
DHADKAN bhi de denge,
DIL bhi,yahan tak ki JIGAR bhi de denge.
kyunki aaj charon film ki cds ghar par hi hai |
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Mera Tujhe Dekhna
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Maine tujhe dekha.......
dekhta gaya.....
dekhta hei gaya......
fir mujhe............"CHASHMA" LAG GAYA.... |
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Dial 911
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Why can't Banta dial 911?
He cannot find eleven on the phone.. |
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Diwano Ki Tarah
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Woh bhi kya din the jab log humain
diwano ki tarah kiss kiya karte the ....
par haaye hamari phooti kismat us waqt hum 2 saal ke hua karte the ......... |
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Dokha
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dokha mila jab pyar main,
zindgi mein udasi chha gayi
socha tha chhod denge es rah ko
kambakht mohale mein dusri aa gayi |
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Dosti
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Ansoo tere nikale to aankhein meri
ho,
Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare ki apni dosti itni gehari ho,
Baap tu bane to Mehanat meri ho !!. |
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Dosti Karo
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DOSTI KARO COLLEGE WALI SE,
PYAR KARO OFFICE WALI SE,
PROGRAMME KARO PADOS WALI SE,
ANKH LADAO SALI SE,
LOVE KARO DIL WALI SE,
AUR MAR KHAO GHARWALI SE. |
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Dry day
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Wife : you call me PARI after Drining
desi and DARLING after English.
What happened today that you are Calling me CHUDAIL?
Husband : Today is Dry day. |
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3 Facts of Life |
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1) Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
2) Musibat aur Lu#d kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
3) Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai. |
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GF Vs Wife
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GF IS BEAUTY & WIFE IS DUTY,
GF IS SPRINGROLL & WIFE IS DABBAGOL,
GF IS CHUSKI & WIFE IS RISKY,
GF IS TOOTIFROOTY & WIFE IS KISMAT FUTY........ |
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Girl Friend
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Girl Friend K Sath Kamre k Andar,
Table k uper, Batti k Niche,
De Tacatac.... Le Tacatac....
De Tacatac.... Le Tacatac....
Stupid I Am Playing Table Tennis |
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Girls Excuses
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GIRLS EXCUSES : PHONE MAT KARO DEAR
MOM HOTI HAI NEAR,
PAPA SE LAGTA HAI FEAR,
BAAT BHI HOHI NAHI CLEAR,
ISLIYE SMS KARO DEAR WIHTOUT FEAR. |
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Ghuma ghuma ke
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Lehnga utha ke karo...
Tange phaila ke karo...
Ghuma ghuma ke karo.....
Jitna karoge utna halka mahesoss hoga...
RAM DEV BABA KA YOGA |
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Gujju Premi
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Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me
kuch halka sa,
kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: DHOKLA. |
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GULAB
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maangta hoon to deti nahin ho :-JAWAAB
MERI BAAT KA.
deti ho to khada ho jata hai :- ROM-ROM JAZBAAT KA.
kyon bolti ho ke dheere se daalo :-BAALON MAIN PHOOL GULAB KA. |
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Harbhajan Singh
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Harbhajan Singh gets married.
During suhag raat
he asks his wife " r u a virgin ?"
she replies " kar di na sardaron wali baat,
Spinner ko kabhi nayi ball mili hai ... |
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Heights Of Patriotism
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U sitting on an English toilet
in Indian style. |
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Jaan bhi maango to hazir hai
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kabhi kehte the dost hamare ke
"jaan bhi maango to hazir hai",
Aaj apni bivi ko jaan kehte hai ,
aur maango to inkaar karte hai............ |
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Height of Foolishness
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what is the height of foolishness?
ans. A girl having a bath in a transparent glass bathroom and santa banta
fighting to peep through the key hole |
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KAFAN
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Botal chhupa do kafan mein, kabar
mein piya karunga,
jab mangega hisab khuda to peg bana ke diya karunga.. |
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Kaal
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Hindi teacher asks : Kaal Kitne
parkar ke hote hain?
Santa answers: Local Kaal, STD Kaal, Trunk Kaal, ISD kaal & sasria_Kaal |
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Kitna Mushkil hai
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pehle hath me lo. fir sidha karo...
fir muh me lo... aur thook lagao...
aur andar gusao..
KITNA MUSHKIL HAI NA!
SUI MEIN DHAGA DALNA * |
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Kutte Ki Maut
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Jab kutte ki maut aati hai..............
Jab kutte ki maut aati hai..............
Jab kutte ki maut aati hai..............
tab..... tab..... tab.....
Kutta mar jaata ha.... |
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Jakkas Dosti
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Apun dono ka dosti ekdam jakkas hona
mangta hai.
jakkas bole to Apun HAAR tu MOTI,
apun SABJI tu ROTI,
apun Paani tu TANKI,
apun TARZAN tu MONKEY! |
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Jani
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Ham Tumse Kaise Nazzare Milayei jani,
Ham Tumese Kaise Nazzare Milayei jani,
Tumari Bhai Ankh Kani,
Meri Dhai Ankh Kani. |
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Kabhi Kabhi
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KABHI KABHI MERE DIL ME KHAYAAL AATA
HAI.
KABHI KABHI MERE DIL ME KHAYAAL AATA HAI-
"KE KYU KABHI KABHI MERE DIL ME KHAYAAL AATA HAI" |
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Kanjoos Baniya
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1st baniya - i m so kanjoos i went
alone honeymoon & saved half money,
2nd baniya - u r nothing, i saved all money, i sent my wife with my friend. |
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Karo Na
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"Ek baar karo na, karo plz.
Kisi ko pata nahi chalega, plz karo na,
mujhe aacha lagega.
Ek baar hamare pyar ki khatir kar do,
sirf ek pyara sa SMS." |
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Kaun Kehta
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Agar Hum Na hote to Gazal kaun Kehta?
Aapke Chehare ko kamal Kaun Kahata?
Yeto Karishma hai Mohabbat Ka,
Warna Patthar ki Divar ko Tajmahal kaun kahata ? |
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Khudi Ko Kar...
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kudi ko kar buland itna ke tu himalay
ke top pe ja sake,
aur phir khuda tujase puche,
abe gadhe ab niche utrega kese |
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Khusre...
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Ek khusra bazar se guzar raha tha,
usko kisi ne ungli de di,
Khusra bola
"aye haye ye missed call kis ne di". |
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Kiss Karu
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Man: Kiss karu?
Girl: Lipstick kharab hogi.
M: Boobs press karne de?
G: Tshirt kharab hogi.
M: Fuck karu?
G:Periods me hu.
M: Now dont say loose motions hai! |
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Kya Bana Rahe Ho
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Ek Sardar khali karahi me karchi maar
raha tha.
Ek aadmine uske pass jakar pucha: "Sardar ji, kya bana rahe ho?
Sardar: "FUDDU Bana raha hu" |
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Kanjus
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One Sardar was so kanjus, .... so
kanjus .... so kanjus .... so kanjus .... so kanjus .... so kanjus
that he went alone for his honeymoon. |
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Handle with care
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A Sardar reads on the front side of
the girls T-shirt written
"Handle with care".
Next day sardar wears jeans written on
"Candle with Hair".
Bolo Tara Rara...... |
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Lunch Box
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Sardarji opens his lunch box in the
middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office |
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Mast Air
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kya mast air chal rahele hai
cow log grass eat ker rahele hai
dog log bark bark ker rahela hai
mast log S.M.S. ker rahele hai
DHAKKAN log S.M.S. phar rahele hai. |
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Man n Monkey
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What Is comman Between Man And
Monkey???
Monkey Dal Par Uchalta hai and
Man Dal Kar Uchalta Hai. |
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Mandir
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ek mandir mein jo buri nazar vala
jayega
vo gayab ho jayega ,
shakti kapoor gayab ,
prem chopra gayab ,
musharaf gayab ,
bipasha gayi toh bhagwan gayab |
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Lamha Lamha...
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lamha lamha waqt guzar jayeya,
chand lamhon mein exams aayega ,
abhi waqt hai do line padlo ,
varna pass kaun munnabhai karvaaga. |
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Love Letter
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One Sardar love with a nurse.
HE writes love letter.
He writes,"I Love you Sister". |
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Machchar
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Machchar ne aapko kata wo uska JUNUN
tha,
aapne khujli ki wo aapka SUKUN tha,
chahkar bhi aapne use nahi mara bcoz uski ragon mein bhi aapka hi KHOON tha |
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Marwadis
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I asked a marwadi : why do marwadis
have sex on alternate days?
He replied : because it takes one day to wash,clean and dry the condom |
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Meaning of SMS
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Santa : What is the meaning of SMS ?
Banta : Its Means...
S - Sardaro ka
M - Mazaak udane ki
S - Service |
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Milne Ko Tarse |
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chand taro ka noor aap par barse,
har koi aapse milne ko tarse,
aap ki zindgi mein itni ladkiya aaye,
ki aap apni chaddi pahnne ko tarse...... |
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Missed Call
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Apni pyaari si surat ka ek baar to
didar de ,
avaaj mat sunana aye dost magar ek missed call to de de |
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Mobile
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What is a similarity between Mobile &
Marriage?
""Kash thode din ruk jaata to achha Model mil jaata...!!!"" |
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Moov
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What is common between Moov cream and
a penis?
Dono gehraai tak jaaye, garmahat laaye, aaram dilaaye.
"Aahhh se A-haaaa tak".. |
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Muh Meetha
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Muh meetha karna hai to............
kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss-mish KHAO!!! |
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